No Grave at which to Grieve

I have over the years seen my husband take many passionate stands for his beliefs; but one has ever struck me the way it did when I heard him mirror my heart and fears. When he snapped at someone that his sons had been thrown away because they weren’t babies. They were just a fetus to the world and that meant human biowaste. It didn’t matter that they were our sons. We didn’t get to bury them. We had no grave at which to grieve.

It has always been on of my hardest things to deal with. I have seen people talk about choosing stones or planning funerals and I have even seen some complain about getting to do these things. I have also seen people talk about and complain about how they hate to see pregnant women, they hate to heard people coldly talk about their pregnancies, and how they would never say such hurtful things knowing what it is like.

For me talking about , more so complaining, about funerals and grave site kills me. there are those of us who have lost our babies and we have no grave at which to grieve. I wish people could be happy to have that ability to plan that perfect funeral or pick just the right stone. Be thankful to have that, because some of us don’t.

No Grave at which to Grieve

We have no grave
At which to grieve
Testimonial to our anguish
Bearing our sons loss

No granite gravestone
Dressed in moss
Memorial to our love
Bearing our sons names

No tiny patch
Covered in grass
Testament to our tears
Bearing our sons bodies

No silent solace
Swathe in sorrow
Shrine to our sadness
Bearing our sons souls

We have no grave
At which to grieve
Testimonial to our anguish
Bearing our sons loss

For all whose angels were to small to have a grave.
~Tara Luning~